...Hamster Wheel...

There have got to be more like me out there.

More wives of Police Officers, in small towns, that sorta feel distanced from the heinous attacks of Officers that are happening (at an alarming rate) across the country.

There are got to be more wives out there who send their husbands off to work with a kiss ans a smile, believing that he will return home, and having no reason not to.

"It can't happen in my town."

"Not here."

Yeah, my mind turns the hamster wheel of excuses as to why I am so seemingly unbothered about all the LOD deaths across the TBL.

The truth? Well, the truth is that I wake up every morning with dread in the pit of my stomach. The truth is that I look at my kids and I want to cry, thinking about what I would do without their Daddy.

I complain, I nag, and I roll my eyes at his work ethic, his morals, and his devotion to the call. But in truth, I know that that is exactly what makes him who he is, and that is exactly why I love him so much.

I know that you have to play the political game, any time you want to get something done within the municipalities. SO here is my very own Action Plan: I want to be a Chaplain for our PD. I want to help those wives that are like me. Scared and vulnerable, but also slightly elitist. I want to support, console, and council those women who don't quite know what the roles are as an LEO wife, and who have no clue how to be defined by their husband's call, or how to support him. I know that in the small selective town, I have to play by their rules. They will do what they can to disqualify me. Too young, no schooling...blah blah. Experience counts for nothing - just ask my husband...but that's another story.

SO my action steps are as follows: first, I want to enroll at Trinity Seminary. I am going to take the necessary online courses to become a certified biblical counselor. Then I am going to apply with our PD. Then I am going to do my best to continue to pursue my education, while raising two children, and supporting my own LEO with all that I am.

Well, now that I've put all this out there, I guess it's time to start being accountable.

Wish me luck....