...Irish...

Happy St. Patrick's Day from the cutest little Irish boy this side of Dublin...

...Spaghetti Thoughts on Marriage...

This morning I opened my internet, and Yahoo! popped up on my screen. Amid the bright and flashy colors was a "news" box that offered a link to another of those celebrity columns that exposes this broken and fallen world for what it is. Alas, I was intrigued by the headline, "Stars who said 'Divorce was not option'". My heart plummeted to my stomach. I find this so sad. I know that it breaks God's heart too.

So, rather than clicking off the screen and going about my business, I read the "article". Really, it was nothing more than picture captions, but the result was the same. shallow reports of splits and divorce, but no real rendering of the "why". I guess that is what I am interested in. "Why?"

Relationships matter. And all unity points us to our need for God's grace. And for those precious souls that do not know Jesus, how do we hold you accountable to the vows?

I believe in marriage. I believe in forever. Every ounce of my internal being is geared for eternal significance in Christ the Savior, so too is my life on earth is geared for forever. I want to grow up with my best friend. We have spent 8 long years building a history. Each day leans against the memory of the day before, and unlike dominoes, they cannot fall. Memories stand in the place of experiences. And experiences don't lie. You either were 'there' or you weren't. Some of my greatest memories stand in the place of disappointing experiences. It seems that my best friend and I grew up more in those times than when we go about our days in routine and solidarity. We have argued, we have yelled, we have traveled, we have cried... We love... We have two children that we are learning to parent, together. We embrace our differences as opportunities for the other to be strong. We get our hands dirty, together. We figure out how to do life, together. We grow closer to our Creator, together. We stand or fall together. We embrace the fragileness of our physical bodies, we lift each other up in prayer for healing, and we support the needs of one another. Together. We attack the problems of the fallen world, the Babylonian culture that threatens to invade our home, as fellow and equal soldiers. Together. We don't just live in a fog where we pretend that everything is fine until it isn't. We do life, together. We process our emotions, then reconcile for the greater good. We embrace the vigor of hard work and believe that as we glorify God in Heaven, we will be strengthened and renewed. Together. As a married couple, we have the opportunity to see the two sides of a coin, as they make up the whole. You can't just have one side of a penny. There will always be two sides. Even if that penny was glued down to a rock - that other side is still there. Just covered in glue and stuck to the rock. The only way the penny stands, is when it balances on the rim - equal parts of both sides. The rim is no more one side than it is the other. This is how I see my marriage - trying to get the penny to balance. Trying to point the way to the Perfect Truth that we are nothing without the grace, mercy, forgiveness and love that is in Jesus. Trying to lean as much on my partner as he leans on me, so we can stand straight and tall, a unified barrier against sin and brokenness. And sometimes, when 'self' gets in the way, we confess to each other. Sometimes we find ourselves being glued to the rock. But what a beautiful image! When I feel I am being overshadowed, like the ugly side of the penny, glued to the rock, I throw myself at the mercy of my Rock. My Deliverer. Eventually He 'unsticks' me and sets me up, and I can stand on my side, leaning onto the side of my husband, as an equal side to the whole penny.

I cannot comprehend the 'whys' of divorce. But I do know that I would not have learned what I know about marriage, about hard work, and about each self representing only parts of a whole and not a whole to its self, without a relationship with Christ. So today I will pray for marriages all over the world. I will pray that this trend of forgotten vows is broken, and a fresh revival of marriage takes place. I will pray that we all find ourselves as part of a whole, serving as a compass in marriage, pointing the way to the Father in Heaven who forgives and loves, through the blood of His Son. Thank You, Jesus, for my marriage, for my husband, and for each opportunity to learn more about You, as You work in and through us.

And to my husband - thanks for putting up with me, even when I try to glue you down. Please forgive me for trying to compete with you and outshine you. Your selfless and gentle leadership is inspiring. I love you - not because some mystic force makes me, but because I choose to. God fashioned you to be my partner, and I couldn't have a better half to lean on. It's just us, Kev. Forever.

...Tabernacle Experience...

...Wow... I don't know if I have ever had such a faith-impacting experience by just visiting a single place. This was special. Amazing. Life-changing.

First, let me explain the circumstances surrounding the experience at Saddleback, with a copy of an email that Kevin and I wrote to them:

Our friends at Saddleback,

Sorry for the delayed email, we just returned home on a 400-mile drive from Southern California. First of all, we completely appreciate you opening your church for the Tabernacle Experience. Our family drove 7+ hours in a whirlwind trip just to come to Saddleback to see it! We want to thank you for the information on your webpage. We were even able to book a hotel room per your recommendations listed! Upon arriving at the Campus, we were not greeted warmly. In fact, we were not greeted at all! Not even a "hello" or "Welcome" from the volunteers running the Tabernacle Experience.

We signed in at 10:45am and were told the wait would be two and a half hours. We were not directed to a place to wait, invited to explore the campus, or told the Refinery was open.

We felt like we were an inconvenience, even after explaining how long we had driven, and that we didn't mind the wait. Traveling with two small children, hundreds of miles, is an experience in itself. We were deflated and disheartened to be dismissed without care. We did not mind the wait, it was the way we were told to wait that was, in our opinions, unacceptable.

When we asked about a place to wait, or how we would know it was our turn, we were told "you will be called." No further instruction was given. We invited ourselves to walk around your beautiful campus, and found the main worship center building with signage with the Refinery's hours. Needless to say, we were thrilled to find a place to sit, and we ended up eating lunch from the deli. Unfortunately we only got 2/3 of our lunch order in a timely manner. Someone "forgot" about the cheeseburger we ordered and we were never called back up to get it. After 20 minutes, I went back up to the counter and was told that "someone else must have taken it" and basically it was our problem. Luckily another lady overheard my plight and went to the grill to check on the cheeseburger. It was "found" and while we were disappointed with having to wait for 30 minutes for a cheeseburger, the food tasted good.
After waiting two hours of our two and a half hour wait time, we went back to the Tabernacle Experience and "checked in" with the same volunteer who had dismissed us. He neither looked at his list, nor seemed to care about his responsibility to manage the wait list. We overheard and saw people ask him about the wait and he just as readily dismissed them. We were told that "this is the way it is. If you don't like it, you can come back tomorrow and get in line at 8:30am." We again explained that we had driven over 7 hours to be there, and that we would continue to wait with our children, for our turn. The volunteer said that he would call us up when it was our turn, but did not even point out the chairs behind the tent, for us to have a seat while waiting.

We also overheard this volunteer tell an older lady who was already upset about the long wait, who asked him why the wait was so long, and he responded "we run 85 people per hour through here. If you think you have a better idea, email ......" and he gave the visibly upset woman an email address. This was in full view and earshot of everyone waiting for the Experience. Should we have been unchurched or nonbelievers, this would have been a tragedy, that a member or volunteer of the "church" would be so rude and hostile. After a few more minutes of waiting, he asked a group of people who were also waiting what their sign-in time was.

They said they had signed in at noon. He asked the large group of people waiting if anyone was there, or had signed in before noon. We said we had signed in at 10:45am and he told us to get in line for the Experience.
While we are positive that this in NOT how Saddleback treats it's visitors and guests, we are still shocked at the lack of consideration and decency.

...On to the Tabernacle...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I snuck a single picture, and I think that it is one of my favorite things about this experience: the gate!

I could go on and on and on about how perfectly this illustration became real to me, but I will spare you. But I do find it absolutely awesome that everything, even down to the gate points to Jesus. Because of the wall around the Tabernacle and the courtyard, the Israelites could only enter through the gate. So, too, can we only enter the courts of God in Heaven, by the Way that is Jesus! He is our gateway to Heaven, to God, and to eternal life with Him. ....Can you hear me swoon?

The first thing that struck me about the Tabernacle, was how ordinary it looked. As if she could read my mind, the lady on the mp3, providing the narrative for the tour said, "Although it may look humble, these tents were designed by God, and each specific detail served a purpose." I was blown away. The tour hadn't even started yet, and God was working on me! I felt rebuked, in the best kind of way. I felt God whisper in my heart, "And what do people see when they look at you, Julie? Do they see My dwelling place?" [this gives me new tools to motivate my Churchnasium teammates! I am excited to go to church on Sunday!]

The tour had 9 'stations'. Each with a 3-5 minute explanation of the details that make the Tabernacle so special and amazing. After the intro, we went to a station where we received a 5"x5" square of white linen. Symbolizing the linens what the Priests and Levites that cared for the Tabernacle wore, it also reminded us that we are all washed clean and pure as the white linen. If only we accept God's grace, and ask Jesus into our lives to remove our sins. Next we move to the altar where the sacrifices were made. We each got a shim, and got to throw it into the fire, and watch it burn for a minute. I know I keep saying it, but WOW. Just watching the flames lick the wood, I was brought to tears of thankfulness. No longer am I bound to a Law that I cannot keep, but I was bought and paid for, at a price much higher than the life of an innocent cow or ram. Hallelujah! After that, we went to the wash basin, the Laver, where we washed our hands. Again, all things point to Jesus, who cleanses us head-to-toe with His mercy, His love, and His blood.

We made our way to the Tabernacle proper, stopping to "pay" the ransom of an Israelite, a Silver half shekel. Upon entering, we were struck with the ambiance. Literally. The cloud of smoke from the incense hit us like a wall. It took a moment to get used to it, and for our eyes to adjust to the very low lighting. The Lampstand was directly to our left. As the voice on the mp3 recited Scriptures, and drew the parallel from the lights to God's presence, we were invited to extinguish a single flame, and relight it, representing our own desires for God's face to shine upon us. I think this was Justice's most favorite part, as it is one of the only parts that she tells people about, when they ask of her experience. (That, and communion.) On the opposite side of the Holy Place, was the table and bread. We were invited to partake in communion, and reflected on Christ's life. In the center of the room, was the Altar of Incense. As we prayed, I couldn't help but imagine my prayers encircling the very Throne of God, as the incense created a cloud around me as I stood. It was an empowering vision, one I am sure I will cling to as I pray.

We were instructed to take a stick on incense and proceed forward, pulling back the Curtain to the Most Holy Place. My skin tingled! Even now, my eyes blur with tears, remembering the precious truth that when Jesus Christ died on the cross, the Curtain was ripped, from top to bottom. There is no longer a separation between God and I! Thank You, Jesus for the victory. For the very Way into the presence of the Almighty Father!

In the center of the Most Holy Place, was the Ark of the Covenant. What struck me instantly, however, was the beautiful Mercy Seat! Holy are You, Lord God Almighty. I cannot even begin to describe the feelings somersaulting inside of me. All I wanted to do was shout praises to my God. My Atonement. My Savior. My Hero.

Thanks for reading, and may God richly bless you,

...My Lesson In Perseverance...

13.1 Miles.

It doesn't really seem like the word "distance" even applies to that number. BUT... when you run those miles, you believe with every exhausted muscle, that 13.1 miles is indeed DISTANCE.

When I crossed that finish line on Sunday, after punishing my body for two hours and forty-eight minutes straight, I felt every single step of  that  "distance". God spoke to me so much during that grueling run, that I just have to share. Somehow. The Truths revealed in to any one man are not to be kept  hidden in solitude.

James 1:12 says "¹² Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.”

When I crossed the finish line, and my d-tac timer beeped, I felt immediate relief. And pain. (but that's another story.) I didn't feel accomplished, I felt tired. I didn't feel victorious, I felt beat-up. I told my husband, "I didn't run that half marathon, that half marathon ran ME!" and I meant it. The only redeeming quality of that run was the medal I received. I finished. It wasn't pretty. It wasn't easy. And more than once I contemplated quitting. But God nudged me forward and carried me that final mile and a half. The devil gave me every opportunity to damn myself and give up. My gps watch lost signal at mile 11.63 and froze til the end of the race. There was no Mile 12 marker, so that stretch from 11.63 miles to the stadium finish was grueling. My ipod died around mile 11. I literally stopped running about a mile from the finish and had a heart-to-heart with God Himself. "Lord", I said, "if You want me to finish, You are just going to have to carry me. I can't take another step." I bet I looked insane to those speeding past me. But I don't care. And I didn't in that moment, either.

Somehow, by His divine grace, I started walking. Then running. All the way through to the end, with tears streaming down my face.

"To him who perseveres..." So much in life is harder than that half marathon could ever be. Life is rough, and unpretty, causing us to sweat and cry and hurt and bleed. But oh, the sweet crown that will be cast at the Feet of Him who is Worthy! I don't even want it. . . Not to keep. Because I won't earn it. He is earning it for me. I am standing in the middle of the street, telling God that He has to do all the work. I can't do it by my flesh. And when He completes that work in me, through me, and by me, that victory will be His. That medal that was placed around my neck serves as a reminder to me "You don't deserve this, Julie. You didn't earn it." To God Alone be the glory!

Shamrock'n Half Marathon medal. March 11, 2012

 Praise You, Father, for Your infinite grace and mercy. Let every step I take glorify You. Let every word I speak accomplish Your purpose. I love you, Jesus. In Your Name, above all names I pray. Amen.

Kevin and I post race. I am proud of Kevin, and thankful for his support.

...WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!?!...

Kayden just a minute old

Kayden 3/5/2012
AGE TWO

Kayden 3/5/2012
AGE FOUR

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BABY BOY. I LOVE YOU, SON. I AM SO PROUD AND BLESSED TO BE YOUR MOMMY!!!

...Don't Get Me Started!...

Staring at this blank blog post screen is giving me hives.

Just thinking about the massive amounts of updating that I need to do on this blog is stressing me out!

I know what you are thinking: really, Julie?

Well, yeah. Seriously.

I guess I should just look back at the calender and breeze through the updates:

Jan Justice celebrated the 100th day of school by dressing up as a 100 year old lady on 1/25. (Kayden dressed up too, just to fit in with the big kids). In February, I co-chaired the St. Peter Crab Feed. ..... someday I will post about this event, but that is for another time. NOT today, Im stressed out enough!

Kevin turned 32 (on the day of the crab feed!)... We took the kids to the Sac Zoo for a family fun day. My days have been filled with meetings (PTL, Churchnasium, etc) and with shuttling the kids to games, piano, school and other extra curriculars.

We are hosting a small group in our home, for 40 Days In The Word. Today is actually day 29...... Justice's season is wrapped up and Kayden just started his first round of Tot Soccer. . . So far, since January, I have earned over 40 hours in the classroom at St. Peter, and am going bald from pulling my hair out (kidding!). I am still in a couple different Bible Studies, and am contemplating running for PTL President. We'll see. I think that I am going to need to slow down soon. I don't even have time to RUN and I have a half marathon on 11th! I can guarantee that I will be walking most of it... sheesh!

Here are a couple pictures from recently:

 Happy Birthday Daddy!

 Flamingos at the Zoo!

 Justice and Giraffes

 Kayden!

 Memento from Family Fun Day!

Justice workin' out at Churchnasium!

 Justice's 2012 Upward Basketball Picture!

Isn't she adorable?!

Kayden won a gift certificate to the FBC Snack Shack because Mommy has the most junk in her purse!

My set-up for Churchnasium Communion!

Kevin and the kids!

Studying the book of Luke at my favorite place: my coffee shop!!

AND, to put the icing on the cake, today is KAYDEN'S FOURTH BIRTHDAY!!!!!!