This morning I opened my internet, and Yahoo! popped up on my screen. Amid the bright and flashy colors was a "news" box that offered a link to another of those celebrity columns that exposes this broken and fallen world for what it is. Alas, I was intrigued by the headline, "Stars who said 'Divorce was not option'". My heart plummeted to my stomach. I find this so sad. I know that it breaks God's heart too.
So, rather than clicking off the screen and going about my business, I read the "article". Really, it was nothing more than picture captions, but the result was the same. shallow reports of splits and divorce, but no real rendering of the "why". I guess that is what I am interested in. "Why?"
Relationships matter. And all unity points us to our need for God's grace. And for those precious souls that do not know Jesus, how do we hold you accountable to the vows?
I believe in marriage. I believe in forever. Every ounce of my internal being is geared for eternal significance in Christ the Savior, so too is my life on earth is geared for forever. I want to grow up with my best friend. We have spent 8 long years building a history. Each day leans against the memory of the day before, and unlike dominoes, they cannot fall. Memories stand in the place of experiences. And experiences don't lie. You either were 'there' or you weren't. Some of my greatest memories stand in the place of disappointing experiences. It seems that my best friend and I grew up more in those times than when we go about our days in routine and solidarity. We have argued, we have yelled, we have traveled, we have cried... We love... We have two children that we are learning to parent, together. We embrace our differences as opportunities for the other to be strong. We get our hands dirty, together. We figure out how to do life, together. We grow closer to our Creator, together. We stand or fall together. We embrace the fragileness of our physical bodies, we lift each other up in prayer for healing, and we support the needs of one another. Together. We attack the problems of the fallen world, the Babylonian culture that threatens to invade our home, as fellow and equal soldiers. Together. We don't just live in a fog where we pretend that everything is fine until it isn't. We do life, together. We process our emotions, then reconcile for the greater good. We embrace the vigor of hard work and believe that as we glorify God in Heaven, we will be strengthened and renewed. Together. As a married couple, we have the opportunity to see the two sides of a coin, as they make up the whole. You can't just have one side of a penny. There will always be two sides. Even if that penny was glued down to a rock - that other side is still there. Just covered in glue and stuck to the rock. The only way the penny stands, is when it balances on the rim - equal parts of both sides. The rim is no more one side than it is the other. This is how I see my marriage - trying to get the penny to balance. Trying to point the way to the Perfect Truth that we are nothing without the grace, mercy, forgiveness and love that is in Jesus. Trying to lean as much on my partner as he leans on me, so we can stand straight and tall, a unified barrier against sin and brokenness. And sometimes, when 'self' gets in the way, we confess to each other. Sometimes we find ourselves being glued to the rock. But what a beautiful image! When I feel I am being overshadowed, like the ugly side of the penny, glued to the rock, I throw myself at the mercy of my Rock. My Deliverer. Eventually He 'unsticks' me and sets me up, and I can stand on my side, leaning onto the side of my husband, as an equal side to the whole penny.
I cannot comprehend the 'whys' of divorce. But I do know that I would not have learned what I know about marriage, about hard work, and about each self representing only parts of a whole and not a whole to its self, without a relationship with Christ. So today I will pray for marriages all over the world. I will pray that this trend of forgotten vows is broken, and a fresh revival of marriage takes place. I will pray that we all find ourselves as part of a whole, serving as a compass in marriage, pointing the way to the Father in Heaven who forgives and loves, through the blood of His Son. Thank You, Jesus, for my marriage, for my husband, and for each opportunity to learn more about You, as You work in and through us.
And to my husband - thanks for putting up with me, even when I try to glue you down. Please forgive me for trying to compete with you and outshine you. Your selfless and gentle leadership is inspiring. I love you - not because some mystic force makes me, but because I choose to. God fashioned you to be my partner, and I couldn't have a better half to lean on. It's just us, Kev. Forever.
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