...Bullying...

This is the article I submitted for the up-coming Connections Magazine:

I was at the grocery store with my daughter the other day, perusing the aisles and checking things off my list. When we came to the cereal aisle, my daughter stopped suddenly and tugged on my shirt, "Mommy, that is the mean boy from class." At that moment, aside from being thankful she whispered, I was filled with dread. Mean boy? Surely not that innocent little boy standing with his mother in front of the oatmeal! What a great moment to minister to my child's heart. Right there with the Cheerios. At the bottom of the matter, was a bully situation. This boy basically picked on kids in my daughter's class. Poking them, hitting them, and acting out. So, I explained to my innocent daughter that sometimes people are missing love in their lives, and they don't know how to act politely.

Now, I am a practical parent. I can't just explain to my children about forgiveness and send them back into a situation where there could be a bully. There are steps we can take as parents to ensure our children's safety at school, church, home, daycare, and everywhere in between:

#1- Listen to you children. Don't be quick to dismiss their cries. We must be protectors and guardians of their welfare- even while they may not be in our care.

#2 -Assess the situation. Use your parental instincts and pray for discernment. You know your children best. Ask yourself if the situation warrants a discussion with the child's teacher/day care provider/babysitter.

#3- Talk to the teacher. If she knows about the situation or about a potential problem, she can better keep an eye on your child, or the child in question. Or you can volunteer in your child's class. It's a great way to be proactive, and keep an eye on things at the same time.

#4- Follow up with the teacher. Do not let the problem go unresolved. If there are no other incidents, you can probably relax. If there are recurring issues, you can take the next steps. Usually schools and places that provide child care have a protocol in place for problematic or violent children.

If you are a parent of older or teenage children, bullying can manifest in other forms. The technology revolution has led to a rise in cyber-bullying, where people use the internet, social media sites (facebook, myspace, etc.) and email to taunt, slander and spread rumors. If your children have email, facebook, myspace, twitter, or any other internet-based accounts, I urge you to be vigilant. Keep an eye on what your child sends and receives.

While these steps don't apply to all manner of situations, there are a good jumping-off point . As parents, we all need to talk to our children. No matter their age. We need to listen. We need to love. We need to be proactive. Most importantly, we need to pray.