...Reminiscent...

Struggles and triumphs of days long past fill my mind today. While more than one quick glance in the rear-view of life can land you in serious trouble (i.e. regret, remorse, guilt, etc..), I find that a remembering some of the obstacles and joys God held me through, helps remind me of how far  He has brought me.

Just a few short years ago, I was living the dream. Well, maybe someone's dream. Not one that I care to hang on to anymore... Life unfolded before me at 20 years old, and the world was mine for the taking. I traveled, (Alaska, Europe, +), I partook in some unsavory extracurriculars, and lived on a fine line between "safe" and "fun". 

I will never forget that feeling of freedom. No responsibilities, no one (except Kevin and a dog) to care for, no one else's rules to follow....

...WHAM!... One day "life" hit me square between the eyes as I stared at a positive pregnancy test. I realized that God had a plan, and I needed to get on board with it. Fast.

Just a couple months into the Police Academy, I had to quit. In 6 weeks I was married and a mommy. That's a hard pill for any 21-year-old to swallow.  Getting back to my premise, I am reflecting on that short time of "freedom" today, because I now realize that I truly wasn't free. I was a slave to sin and I reveled in my bondage. Yes, I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Savior, but I was doing life far outside the bounds of grace, falling short of the anointing on my life.

Isn't that true of so many of us today? Saved or not, are we fulfilling our potential in Christ to serve with our whole lives? I pondered this today, trying to decide what my potential is and how I know if I am giving or serving 'enough'.. I came to this conclusion: it is never 'enough'. If we look to ourselves to measure our level of sacrifice, we are missing the point of the Cross. Each and every one of us has a talent, a gift from God. It is our responsibility to discover it and apply it. When we are using that unique gift to advance the Kingdom agenda, we will never wonder if it is 'enough'. We will look for ways to give more, and complain less. We will be fulfilled in a way that no earthly pleasure could compare. We will thrive. And then, will we discover true freedom.

Maybe this doesn't even make sense to anyone else. Oh, well.

Thank You, Lord, for my freedom in You. Hallelujah!