New Beds (sorta)

Today our wonderful friend Steve came by and gave Justice a bed. Well, a cute little girly frame. Thanks to Nana, we already a twin mattress...

So we took apart Justice's old bed and put it in Kayden's room, took down Kayden's crib, and put up Justice's new-to-her bed.. Kayden and Daddy are busy snoozing away, in Kayden's bed. We're going to go buy a bed rail tonight so that Kayden can sleep without supervision. (we tried to put him down for a nap earlier, but he kept getting off the bed and playing with toys!)

Justice needs to clean her room, but here is the bed!

Daddy and Kayden are sleeping, and Kayden's room is soo messy - but here is the bed!

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Thanks to our friend Sierra, I now have a custom bookshelf to fit in the space I needed it to, in my bedroom. I love it! I have way more books than what will fit, but these are books that I study from, and read frequently.

Doesnt it look awesome?!

The one on the right is the new one, the one on the left is Ikea..

St. Anne's Harvest Festival

On Saturday, October 10th,  Kevin had to do a 1-hour k9 demo at the St. Anne's Harvest Festival. Well, it was more of a k9 meet and greet than a demo.. But I decided to go, and take the kids. We played a few games and Justice got to make a sand art key chain, and a spin art card. She also won some cheezy little prizes, but we had a great time.

Justice and her sand art key chain - a multicolored star.

Justice playing a game... she was awesome!

Justice making her spin art design on a card. All by her big-girl self!

It turned out beautifully!

Daddy even played a game with her after the demo was over.

Call her weird, but Justice likes to be in the 'cage' - just not WITH the dog. hehe.

Product Plug

It is very rare that I rave about some product, (that cleaner was awesome, though!) but this one is warranted.

I love the Swiffer Sweeper Vac. I have a regular swiffer, and for my laminate flooring, it is a great alternative to the broom. But this new version is amazing!

I have been using it for about a month or so, and I have to tell you - I use it every day! It is just so much more convenient than the broom. It sucks up even large pieces of food, like cheerios and m&ms. It is such an asset to my cleaning regimen, and I recommend everyone spend the $15 on one. Especially if you have laminate or linoleum flooring.

It is great!!

Today is the day!

In mere minutes I will be heading off to the doctor's office to receive my first of 6 Lupron injections. I am nervous and a little worried.
Here is some information about Lupron, so you will have a kind of idea what I will be going through:
I will also have add-back therapy, where estrogen will be administered back into my system, to help alleviate the side effects.
What is Lupron?
Lupron is a man-made form of a hormone that regulates many processes in the body. Leuprolide overstimulates the body's own production of certain hormones, which causes that production to shut down temporarily. It reduces the amount of testosterone in men or estrogen in women.

Lupron is used in women to treat symptoms of endometriosis (overgrowth of uterine lining outside of the uterus) or uterine fibroids.
Lupron side effects:

bone pain;
swelling, rapid weight gain;
pain, burning, stinging, bruising, or redness where the medication was injected;
feeling like you might pass out;
painful or difficult urination;
urinating more often than usual; or
sudden headache with vision problems, vomiting, confusion, slow heart rate, weak pulse, fainting, or slow breathing.
Rare but serious side effects may include:
pain or unusual sensations in your back;
numbness, weakness, or tingly feeling in your legs or feet;
muscle weakness or loss of use; and
loss of bowel or bladder control.
Less serious Lupron side effects may include:
acne, increased growth of facial hair;
dizziness, weakness, tired feeling;
hot flashes, night sweats, chills, clammy skin;
nausea, diarrhea, constipation, stomach pain;
skin redness, itching, or scaling;
joint or muscle pain;
vaginal itching or discharge
breast swelling or tenderness;
loss of interest in sex;
depression, sleep problems (insomnia), memory problems; or
redness, burning, itching, or swelling where the shot was given.
*This is not a complete list of side effects and others may occur.
Signs of an allergic reaction to Lupron:
 hives; difficulty breathing; swelling of your face, lips, tongue, or throat.
So, wish me luck, and say a prayer. I am sure God will have His mighty hand on me as I take this next step in getting myself completely healthy.. Thanks!

October 15, 2009

Baby Loss Awareness Day

To every woman who has suffered a miscarriage or still-birth: You are strong. Women were designed resilliant by the Creator. I understand your plight, I have been in your shoes. Though a baby was stolen from me, I was able to carry on, and have another. We do not know why we have these circumstances, and if you are a Believer, in many ways the questioning could be worse. . . Why, God, would you let me get pregnant at all, if you were going to take this baby from me? What, God, could You possibly have taught me in those quiet hours that you could not teach me through my obedience in Your Word?

I even struggled with feelings of not being a good enough Mommy to the beautiful and precious life already gifted to me. I thought that maybe God was punishing me. Maybe He thought that Im not a good enough mommy?........ Silence from God. I prayed and prayed. I asked WHY?! Why, God, if You are good, would You hurt me so deeply. I am defined by motherhood. This miscarriage shook me to the very core of my beliefs.

Then one morning, after wallowing in bed for a full day and night, I woke up. I continued to breathe. I realized that life goes on, and that there was a purpose. Through this unfortunate circumstance, I became acutely aware of just how precious life is. I am solid in my walk through my mothering years, with the Lord as my Guide. I live in the reality that these two beautiful children that I am blessed to call mine, are not my own. They are a gift. A special gift from God. He, in His infinate grace and love, only bestowed on me this gift for a short time. Too soon they will grow up. Or be called home to the Father. Not that I am looking forward to that day, dont misunderstand me. But only God knows the number of our days, and only God decides when He wants our company in Heaven.

To the baby waiting for me: though I didnt know your face, I love you. As only a mother can love a heartbeat in her womb, I love you. I look forward to meeting you in Heaven, someday. But for now, please delight in watching from afar the life your daddy and I have created for your sister and brother her on earth.

Check Up..... blah!

Today I had my 'annual' .... lovely. I feel as though I should take up a cot in the GYN's office. I have been poked, prodded, cut open, and manipulated in almost every way since Febuary 2006.  I am sincerely looking forward to the day when I will no longer need to go there, save for the once a year pap.

Today I was informed that I should be starting my Lupron soon, (good thing, Ive had the hormones for 4 weeks already) and they are going to give me the Gardasil injections. I know what you are thinking - Yay me, right? Yeah, me too. I was just thinking how flippin awesome it is that I "get" to have Lupron injections and get the Gardasil injections over the next 6 months.

Other than that, they found no lumps anywhere. Since fibroids run so very high in my family, I have done my part to avoid getting them as much as possible. I quit drinking caffeene (for the most part, but I do have an occational soda) and I check myself regularly for lumps.

SO, do you think that since there is no sickness in heaven, there will be no need for paps? There will sure be some bored OB's and GYN's up there! lol...... :)

Awesome Cleaner!!

On Friday, a young man came to the door selling some liquid cleaning product. I wasn't interested until he asked if there was any stain that I couldnt remove. I told him that there was a marks-a-lot mural on my fridge, that even the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser couldn't remove. He said this leaner he was selling would remove it.

I told him I had spend (literally) hours scrubbing it, and it was faded and pretty old now, but nothin I had tried worked. I was skeptical. But willing to try it. I took his squirt bottle and ran to the kitchen. Sure enough, two squirts of the dillutd formula and presto! My fridge looks new. So I bought the product and spent the next 3 hours scrubbing the fridge top to bottom, inside and out. It seriously looks new! It is very exciting!

the before, when the mural was new, before I even tried to scrub it at all.

woohoo! After the amazing new cleaner took of the rest of the mural!

doesn't it look new?! lol

Celebrating Nana's Birthday

On Saturday evening we got to celebrate Nana's birthday. She was in town for a couple days and we were very happy to spend some time with her, since we dont see her very often. We went to dinner with Aunt Anna, Uncle Gordon and my cousins Rebekah, Chris, and Daniel (Rachel is at Disneyland), and Nana of course. We had a good time.

Justice and Nana - wearing the birthday tiara Justice made her.

Nana and my family.

Nana and the kids.

Hope your birthday was special, Nana. We love you!

Finally Good-Bye

Closure. It is so freeing. So taken-for-granted. So longed for. And so grieved.

Monday was the first time I got to see the headstones for both my Bubba (maternal grandfather) and Mama Honey (maternal great-grandmother).

For years I have been haunted by the never-got-to-say-goodbye feeling that can linger from a life cut-short buy the firm grasp of God pulling one home. Don't get me wrong, I know there is total and complete healing in heaven for those that are sick, and I know that for believers, someday it will be the biggest reunion we can imagine up there. It is, I can truthfully proclaim, a day I long for.

But. Isn't there always a "but"? What I have struggled with is the proper goodbye. The send-off.

My kids and I. What a shame that my Bubba and great grandparents can only be spectators to the lives of my kids, from heaven.

I guess now that I can see their names on grave markers, I know that they are gone. I can seal that chapter that has been left unfinished and pushed to the back of my mind. I can finally be free of the burden of no good-bye.

Papa Honey, moved in from Riverside.

My Bubba. I miss you!

Mama Honey. (To my relatives who are reading this: is it wrong if I wanted them to make sure it was her in there before they sealed it up and put her name on it? -kidding!)

San Deigo

Kevin went to the CATO (California Association of Tactical Officers) confrence in San Diego. He set out on Sunday evening for the 469.4 mile drive down there.

He decided, since he and the Sgt he went with had their own rooms, that the kids and I should go down there. So Monday (after an all too short visit with Aunt Anna in Modesto) the kids and I set out on an adventure. We left at about 4pm, and got down there just before 11pm. The drive was pretty quick and we had to stop once for fuel, once for Justice to go potty, and once to go through Wendy's drive through to get the kids some fries.

The sunset on the drive down to San Diego

Tuesday I decided to take the kids to the San Deigo Zoo. We saw some cool animals, and that's where Justice got "Roger" her stuffed giraffe. The kids got bored after a few hours, and we went back to the room for naps. After Kayden woke up, we went across the way to a huge open-air mall. We had fun checking out the 3-story Old Navy store, and I ended up getting the kids a few things.

Tuesday night we went to Cheesecake Factory with Kevin for dinner. It was yummy.

Justice checking out the view from out 4th floor room.

Justice did NOT want to give the mama lion a high-five on the glass.

My babies with a life-sized baby elephant statue.

The beautiful sunset over San Diego. Thank You, God.

Wednesday I took the kids to the Wild Animal Park where we went on Safari. It was a lot of fun. The kids had a blast, and Justice got a stuffed zebra to go with Roger. Kayden got his own giraffe, though its not stuffed like Justice's. We rode the carousel (Kayden's first time) and hung out all day long.

Wednesday night the 4 of us went to Dave and Busters, and Justice had a blast winning tickets. She turned in over 400 of them, and got a pink stuffed Scooby Doo.

The kids and I. We had fun making memories - even if they are memories I will have to save for them.

Kayden and Justice all set for our safari.

Justice showing "Roger" where his parents live. The imagination of a 3-year-old is a marvelous thing!

"Roger's mommy and daddy and brudder"

The kids on the carousel ride.

The animal park wore the kids out!

Thursday we drove home. In record time! Still didnt have to stop much, and though Justice got sick, we were home in less than 7.5 hours. Kevin left for home, after the confrence ended around noon. (He didnt make it home as quick as we did).

We are recovering and finishing up on laundry yesterday and today. Tomorrow we are looking forward to church and class 201!

Just Some Pics

I took these photos with my Blackberry's camera, through my windshield, so I appologize for the quality,

but it did capture what I was trying to.

Isn't the wonder of God's creation so amazing? The sky looked painted on, and the colors were so vived yet soft, it was hard to look away

I think that this one is my favorite of the two. The telephone pole is reminiscent of a cross - I didnt take this photo on purpose! Isn't it amazing that He is everywhere all at once? Just another gentle reminder that there is Someone always watching over us. I LOVE IT!

Crafty Crafts

I'm one of those moms that does crafts with my kids.

Here are some things that we have been working on lately, gearing up for the Fall season and of course practicing for Christmas, when everyone will be blessed with a little piece of Justice's imagination and energy.

Handprint Flowers in Justice-painted toilet paper tube vase.

The sign she made for her door. Move over, bullseye target! lol

door hangers and bookmarks for family

The candy corn people. (Mommy made the one top left, just to show her how to do it.)

She put on ALL the stickers with no help!

She loves all the foam stickers, and that makes it nice and practically mess-free to make people things!

The paper-plate angel is still a work in progress.

Mommy painted these toilet paper tubes so Justice can make some "people" out of them later.

It's Time...

After Kayden got a big boy haircut, Justice was feeling a little left out.

So Kevin and I decided that it was time to get her out of the carseat that she was in, and into a big girl high-backed booster.

She is so excited to use a seatbelt now, and not be strapped in like Kayden.

She really is a big girl, and we are very proud of her.

Big Boy Haircut!

Kayden got his very first BIG BOY haircut on Tuesday. Yes, I finally talked my mom into cutting off all the baby fuzz! He was sooo mad (understatement) to be held down, but he looks like such a big boy now!

We celebrated by buying him hir very first pair of big boy shoes. No more crib shoes or baby sandals. Real big boy sneakers like Daddy's!

The "before".

No, Grammy, get away!!

He was still upset after his haircut, but he loves his grammy.

The back. See! He still has his curls...

Here is Kayden and his bigger boy shoes!

That evening we took the kids to Applebees (where kids eat free) with our friends the Brucias.

I have never seen two kids as happy as mine to get balloons!

Shout Out

...to the loving, supportive and completely awesome friends that sent me a care package while I was down-and-out..

Arent those lovely gifts to receive when you are recovering from surgery?

Thanks, ladies. You sure know how to make a girl (and hubby) turn 3 shades of red...

LOVE YOU!!!