Before my husband can emotionally connect to me when he comes home, he has to "unplug". He has to make an effort to disconnect from work, and take a few minutes to switch to home-mode. I've seen, and my kids have experienced first hand the adverse effects of cop-mode in the home. It always ends badly; kids crying, raised voices, arguments, and the kids don't LIKE or WANT him home when he is in cop-mode. Everything is suspect to more scrutiny, and everything is questioned.
For some, like Kev, this is a fairly quick and painless switch, and he is able to engage the kids and assimilate to home life rather seamlessly. It is rare that he take extra time for himself, or refuse my urgency in sharing the parental responsibilities.
Others may have more of a problem, or need more time. Each person is different.
To a newbie LEO wife, I would offer this advice: get to know - I mean the nitty gritty- what makes your man tick. I am talking about the very essence of him. Dig deep, and study him, until you are sure that you have the exact number of minutes counted that it takes him to unplug.
Then add ten.
No comments:
Post a Comment