...Apprehention...

Sometimes 'familiar territory' is the unknown. That is certainly the case for my family. Kevin and I have been plagued with uncertainty for much of our marriage. I admit that sometimes it is easier to "let" things happen, than express exactly what it is you "want" or "hope" will happen, and risk being disappointed with reality.

Kevin was selected to be the new temporary School Resource Officer. While part of me is absolutely thrilled, I admit that I am apprehensive about this reassignment as a whole. SRO means day shifts, no more graveyard. It also means working 5 days per week, with weekends off. Kevin currently works what is called "four tens" but equals out to 80 hours every two weeks. It is actually 5 days of work one week, and 3 the following week. The trade-off is that we won't have those fabulous 4-day weekends twice per month, for less hours-per-day spent at work.

I don't know if I'm going to like this....

I know that it is new, and like all new things will need some getting used to. But Kevin has worked nights since before we were ever even a couple (it's been over 7 years!) and the entirety of our relationship has been built upon the concept of surviving nights. Thinking about having Kevin home every single night is confusing. I admit that I like my space. I have a routine, and prefer my alone-time after I put the kids to bed. Now, I realize that Kevin only works 16 "nights" out of every month, but the first night home on his 'weekends off' are spent sleeping, as he is in recovery-mode, trying to catch up on sleep missed throughout the week. So that is 4 additional nights that I get "me" time. That's roughly 20 out of each month! I will now be sharing the bed, the couch, and (eek!) the remote with my husband EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK!!

Those challenges seem comparatively more mild to adjust to, than the realization that I will be losing my DAYS with him. Every two weeks, Kevin gets a 4-day weekend. That means 4 DAYS awake, during sunlight. As winter approaches, I know that the days get shorter and the possibility of him being home at all while it is light outside is diminishing. Except every Saturday and Sunday, which -if you know Kevin- won't be spend doing much, because there are "too many people out on the weekends and everything is more expensive."

In conclusion to this post, I would like to add that I am infinitely proud of Kevin. I am truly happy for him and would gladly sacrifice my hours of time alone for even a few short minutes with him. As long as he abides by my routine.

...I'm joking!...