Monday, November 21, 2011

...I will NOT be silent anymore...

I have kept quiet, like a good wife should. But when do I say "ENOUGH"?! When do I cry out for the injustice?  When do I get to tell those who claim to be leaders, that they are A JOKE? When?....
On the outside, it appears that we live the dream. We are happy, healthy, and have a stable income, a roof over our heads, and food on the table. "Want" is a four-letter word that my children don't comprehend.
On the inside, we are fighters. We continually stand-up, to be knocked down. We grappel and claw for every inch of progress we get to take. We cry. We hurt. We question, wonder, and shake our heads with dissatisfaction.
I watch my husband crumble every day, from being humiliated in a temporary assignment.
I watch him deteriorate, as he is forced further and further down a ladder that years of service should move him up.
I watch him die a little, on the inside, as each day passes, and his years of hard work and sacrifice are unrecognized by a Department that used to love his enthusiasm.
How much can one wife take? How long must I keep quiet about the pain I share?
Resentment and irritation are all to common in conversations about work.

LORD! I need You now. I need hope. I need comfort. I need to know Your true and perfect will.
EVen as I cry out, I know our exodus is coming. Our own deliverance from this injustice by the Mighty Hand of God.
I know You. I know what You have allowed me to discern. I know that every good and perfect gift is from Above, and that You have a plan to prosper us. My hope is in You, however faint it may be.
Lord, Your Word says that if I have faith as small as a mustard seed, I can say to this mountain "move" and You will move it.
I need it moved, God. Removed from this place.
God, I am so thankful for Kevin. Hold me together, Abba, that I can be a supportive wife for my hard-working husband.
Part this sea of sorrow, and help us to the other side, dry and forever praising Your Redeeming Name.
I love You, Father.
In the POWERFUL name of JESUS my DELIVERER,
Amen.

Day 16: I am thankful today for God's grace. Living out of 2 COR 12:9 today.
Day 17: I am thankful for my LEO.
Day 18- thankful for opportunity to go be with my man for the weekend. On the road to Reno!
Day 19: I am thankful to be alive.
Day 20: I am thankful to be home safe, and for the workout at Churchnasium tonight. Wow!
Day 21: finding it hard to be thankful right now. I am thankful my husband is healthy and has job security... even when he has to work on DAYS OFF........

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